Processing and A Wall

The mind is rotating

In circles around itself

Lost in so many ways

Trying to find a way

To have it functional

A connection with everything

Inside myself

Noise by Man

Life is an empty place

Full of people

Communicating their

Own trauma

Again and Again

No one hearing the other

More than when your

Scream are the loudest

In the room

Bad Containment

High level anxiety running through

My chest

Can’t feel anything else

Quickly, quickly it goes

I am high and low

Paralyzed running in the same tim

The head feels heavy

This is my life now

Memories

Memories drag you

Back to hell

The place you left

Many years ago

Not much is needed

To bring the trauma back

Every day a little remainder

A push, a laughter

A never ending war zone experience

Be there or be here

Eventually it breaks you

Memories From A Broken Life

Watching the coffee drinkers

In a the chic café

The noise of people

Talking with muted

Voices

Quiet violence rushing

Into my ears

Hurting them

Memories of the terror

From earlier years awakens

Memories of torture day by day

Writing in subtle language

That do not heal the broken

Mind and heart

Saturday From Hell

This evening she hated me deeply

She had made the choice

To have a really bad day

Because I was not there

They stayed at home all day

Because of the rain and the total inability

To take the bus

Maybe I deserved it

Defining me as a small man

Deserving to die in a snowpack

She spat on me while my daughter

Who sat in my lap

No inhibitions at all

How bad I was

I needed psychiatric help

And then as always

Like a hand that turned

She was so sad, her colleague

Had not done enough

I put my daughter to sleep

Waiting for the next act

Of the bipolar drama

My Family

They will tell you that you are sick

Aggressive, crazy not to be trusted

They send you to the doctor

The family making their projection on the boy

Something is wrong with him

And the world out there is so dangerous

Let´s keep him calm

You are wrong, amphetamine will make you a good boy

You are bad because you are a boy

We despise you for what you are

We will make you sick

And that is good

We do not take any care

We do not want to see

We are blind, pretending

We reward everyone that pretends

We hate and smile

When we kill you

It will be for your own best

And we will mourn

 

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