I Don’t Want To Go

The end is so near

I am not ready

To end it all

Just lost the meaning

To live

Have to find a new one

I know I am not

Good enough and

That is not really

Where I want to be

Life Roots

I need to get the energy from my life roots

The will to grow and expand finding meaning

And will to enjoy life. Just don’t find any now

Aging

Writing away my anxiety

Pretending that I have a choice

Pretending that It is a free will

Being possessed by spirits and memes

From another era, it is not much I can do

The problem is that it is only getting worse

With age, I am not getting wiser

My Family

They will tell you that you are sick

Aggressive, crazy not to be trusted

They send you to the doctor

The family making their projection on the boy

Something is wrong with him

And the world out there is so dangerous

Let´s keep him calm

You are wrong, amphetamine will make you a good boy

You are bad because you are a boy

We despise you for what you are

We will make you sick

And that is good

We do not take any care

We do not want to see

We are blind, pretending

We reward everyone that pretends

We hate and smile

When we kill you

It will be for your own best

And we will mourn

 

My face in the mirror

I have no power
no will 
just time to act
on yesterdays problems
Breading  bad rumors
by telling all these lies
about myself 
compensating all
shortcomings 
still the sun shines
on me