Drifting

Life is so much pain

Sometimes

So hard, so long

Floating on a raft

On an ocean

Knowing that

I might never reach

The shore but forever

Drifting along the stream of desire

My desires

Other peoples desires

Floating along

Hoping to reach the shore

While the wind and currents

Have their say

Longing

Deep inside us and what we are

All the next action determined

By our destiny and will

Something that is neither

Far in our mind we do not

Understand ourselves

The Cliff

For such a long time

I have been hanging

On the cliff trying to

Keep to climb back

To no avail, everything

Has been tried

Therapy, drugs, exercise

Screaming, writing, painting and

Meditation

Still being able to exercise free will

Without constraints flowing freely

How wonderful that would be

Sometimes

The best thing is the sun

Gone for most of the winter

To get to know the heating strokes

Again

It is an awful place to live

Your life in darkness

Takes it’s toll

Will is not being

Done for you

In this

Cold early spring

Conflicts

Tired in the sofa

Exhausted

Not able to move

Still I want to fight

I want to win

Just go for it

Tired because of

The resistance that

Consist of wanting

To go and knowing

The anger and frustration

Of me doing my own thing

The inner conflict that

Has thrown me into depression

Because whatever you do

It is wrong in one way or

Another